Though you are not one in a million,
but i promise you,
you are the only one i want.

kiss me in the rain, love me in the dark,
hold me till the end and never break my heart.

HEART OF AN ANGEL, EYES OF THE DEVIL,
HE HAS CAPTURED MY SOUL ♥

so well yeah. here i am. doing nothing and having an empty mind right now. looking at the screen blankly. ok so someone told me to merapu anything on my blog so TADAAAAAAAA! xD oh ok, idk what it is exactly. never mind. ok bye! (:

so no in the mood.

idk why but i dont feel happy today. i've been wearing the same stone mask whole day long. i just realize that i didn't smile at all today. not even once. if there is then it is a fake smile. i've been talking like nothing happened to me. as if i'm still the same happy person. even when i'm chatting or texting, i'll be like happy and all but in reality, there's no feelings exist. i dont feel sad. i dont feel mad. i dont feel happy. nothing. i feel nothing. i haven't eaten anything yet since breakfast. i didnt take my lunch. just dont feel like eating. -.- ok, what the hell is wrong with me?! is it that what i've keep to myself all this while, all the secrets, all the problems i'm facing is finally eating myself from inside? wow. great. why now? why when i'm starting to have a happy life? feels like going into sleeping mode till everything is over. i dont feel like talking to anyone but i HAVE to talk to people so that no one notices. well, so far no one notices. oh well, i hope tomorrow's going to be a good day. cheers! (:

end of so-called-single-life-story.

so ok. all this while, i've been single and available but i admit that it's kind of boring. -.- but now, i've someone that'll cherish my day. on November 20th 2010, i accepted him as my boyfie. well, at first i don't expect him to have feelings towards me because i treat him like a good friend and we were going well as friends. i knew him since we were 8. (: u guess right. he's my classmate and a smartass from primary school. i didn't realize at all that he's been watching me all this while. i mean, in primary school of course. i always notice if someone's watching me but i didn't notice him. he said that he looked at me when i was doing something like talking to a friend or something. he said that he's afraid to confessed to me because he's afraid by the fact that i'll reject him and i once asked him if i'm that 'charming' when we were 12 because i'm like having loads of admirer and it freaks me out. i'm not like trying to brag or something but it's true. it's totally freaks me out. i received love letters from a junior who is TWO YEARS younger than me. i repeat, LOVE LETTERS. 2 guys from next class have feelings towards me, a guy who i hate so much when we were 12 have the same feelings too and now this. ok, i really don't want to hear any confessions from guys from primary school anymore. i hope he'll be the last one. (:

this guy wasn't that hot but i dont give a shit about that, his voice is hot, his laughter is cute, he's nice, caring, he's totally in love with me, he cherish every single day of my life, he knows how to be romantic and he's totally different from others. too much to describe about this guy. we'll be talking like more than 5 hours each day. we'll be calling each other at night like 11 pm and talking till 2 - 3 am. crazy wasn't it? xD yeah i admit, it is crazy but hey, it's so damn hard to resist listening to the sweet voice of his. his way is so unpredictable. really. he made me say stuff which i find hard to say before easily and that's what i like about him. i regret for not following my mom went back to penang the other day because he bought me something. well, that's according to him. idk if it's true or not but i guess it's true. that is so sweet of him. his sisters like me. (: and he was like, wondering what kind of magic did i used because all this while, his sisters dislike his ex-es very much. i totally don't expect that to happened because i only talked to them like a friend. i'm not like trying to get them to like me. no. i wasn't thinking it that way but yeah, i'm happy that his sisters accept me. :D he said that he's going for marine engineering. that'll take like 8 years of studying. he said he'll be waiting for me. wait, it's the other way round wasn't it? :o well, hell yeah! i WILL be waiting for him. i do hope it comes true. anyway, i told meera about this guy and she was like, ok jom exchange boyfie. BHAHAHAHAHA!!! jangan nak kelakar sangat ahh meera. obviously i said i don't want to. (: idk if he'll read this or not but i hope he will.

woaaaaaahhhhhhhh... i just realize that i've been saying too much, toooooooo much about this awesome guy. ^^ i'm so not going to tell his name because i want to keep it to myself. xP his name is unique. really. ok i change my mind. i'm telling his name. his name is Shaikh Uqhaili Ash-Qhalani.

noob brothers.

i know this thing would happened eventually. -.-
i dont encourage my brothers to learn how to use internet because i know what will happened. now, they're fighting over a laptop which belongs to my dad. he used to play games but now it has got internet connection so they were sort of excited over it. they made facebook and add my friends. i was like, WTF?! if u want friends, go and add YOUR friends. u guys dont have to add MY friends because they dont want to chat with u. -.- i was their first friend when they made fb yesterday and there were updates about my status and there's this status where i carut2 about those bitches. i was like, OMGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! COVER COVER! just hope they're stupid enough to understand about it. xD

bored.

ok. school's over and i'm deadly bored. idk what to do now. i want to go somewhere but i dont have the money and permission from my mom to do that. so here i am. blogging and doing nothing. just watching kurosagi. it's still early if i want to cook anything for lunch before umi come home. one of my brothers went to kl trip this morning and i totally forgot to give his allowance for the trip. it is their money that they kept for a long time and i'm holding it in case they need it someday. it's a pity bcause now, he cant buy anything with his money. so, it's a waste. i feel guilty. D: i gave some allowance for my other brother when he went to kl trip last saturday. so i'm like, being an unfair sister. ouch. terasa doh. D: anyway, ila asked me out to kl with fatin this thursday and i'm still trying to gain some money to buy present for my sister. i forgot about her upcoming bday which is on nov 23rd. and i still need to buy amalina's. oh wait, i decided to post amalina's present so her present can wait. xD hahaha. anyway, i'm going to continue watching kurosagi! chao.

pi mati la BITCH bodoh! babi!

i got a miscalled from an unknown number. so, i decided to text whoever that person is. here's our conversation.

red is mine and green is that whore

who is this?
ni nasir kew?
no. -.- u got the wrong person. try other num kay.
x yah nak tpu..nie kak ain ngan kak wani larh
huh?! sape ain? sape wani? sorry salah org laaaa. -.-
abs tuh nie sapew?
idk u so u dont have to know me.
who are u? humans or ghost..
i'm obviously a human. what kind of question is that?! -.-
a question was still a question..ngko x reti ckap bm kew? ak ckp hindu satg bru ko taw...ko nie org pew? mat saleh jew?
oi! i can use whatever language i want to. it has got nothing to do with u. who r u to question me about the way i talk? you're not my mother! go fuck up. kau yg tak phm bhs. dah org ckp tak kenal tu tak kenal la. tak reti2 nak stop. gatal sgt knape??!!
yes..i'm your grandmother..don't u know me..i am a girl..u? a PONDAN..
Wtf la sial! nenek aku dah mati la bodoh! kau pun nak mati mcm dia ke?! ape msalah kau la bodoh?! tak reti nk brhenti ka? aku pompuan la bodoh! kalau aku pondan, kau tu ape? babi? ke lesbian? gatal tak hbs2.

there, power tak maki aku? hohoho. sakit ati pnye pasal. dah la mak aku ade kat dpn aku. aku taktau la dorg tu mmg tak reti baca text aku sbb bodoh terlebih or dorg mmg gatal. teringin sgt nak kne fuck la tu. -.- cari pasal lagi dgn aku. padan muka. dah la eja 'ke' pun tak reti. ade ke dia pegi taip 'jew'? masalah btol dorg nie.

amalina's

well, today's amalina isyqie's bday so she's throwing a bday party. i went there by 3.30 pm. teera text me when i'm about to go to amalina's. it wasnt that great to me. it's not bcause her party was terrible or what. no. it's bcause idk most of the people. that's all. i only talked with my classmates and yana. (: amalina's presents were great. i saw them. i didnt give mine yet. i cant go out this week. so, i was planning that if i go to penang with my mom, i'll buy one of kerrelyn sparks' book for her. i'll pos laju to her and chocolates too. if it didnt melt in one day. xD well, i hope she'll wait for it. :D

Ahren Baesler. ♥

this is cool. a very good acoustic guitar. this guy's name is Ahren Baesler. he's from Eugene, Oregon. ok idk where that is but i'm totally in love with his voice. (: hahahaha. i fall in love with a guy's voice and i find that he's quite cute either. :D i'm becoming his fan!

newskin.

finally, after few months with the same blog skin, i finally changed it. hikhikhik. it seems nice with bright red. (: btw, my dad finally agreed to buy me a table lamp bcause i was complaining that every night, when i'm studying till 2, 3 am, he will wake up and go to my window and asked when am i going to sleep. he'll continue doing that every 15 minutes until i turn off the lamp in my room. -.- now, i can study lama-lamaaaaaaaa. xD i told my sis who is currently in kedah and i think she's jealous of it. hohoho... hold on, why am i talking about a table lamp when the title is 'NEWSKIN' and there's like a line about it. hahahahahaha. xD ok funeeeehhhhhhhhh.

stuff.

oh lord. nowadays i rarely update my blog. why? because i've got nothing to tell about. well, that would be because there's not too much drama here. even if there is drama, it doesn't belongs to me. so, i shouldn't butt in with it aite? my life wasn't so dramatic like how it is in penang. even if there is drama in penang about my friends that i could butt in, i wouldn't do that. not anymore because the last time i did that, we've become awkward and we didn't talk anymore and i'm not there anymore so their business is NOT my business. my function is to be their ears and mouth. i listen to them and i comment about it. that's all i can do. *sigh* -.- anyway, for the first time ever (i think) i passed chemistry and biology which i kind of sucks at it. it's a good thing that i dont have any failed subjects so far. i'm not sure about addmaths.

anyway, today i didn't go to pn jega's class bcause the pain on my leg came back and i cant walk. so, i went to tesco and buy some stuff that i need and i got busted. my friends were like, "u said your leg's hurt but then u went to tesco and not pn jega's class?" well yeah. i need stuff for myself so i have to ignore the pain and walk anyway. sorry bout that guys. oh i met one of pn jega's student at tesco. i dont know her name but she talked to me as if she knows me well. she was like, "hi raja." and i was like, "oh hi." but in my mind, i was thinking WHO THE HELL IS SHE?! o.O i was pretending as if i knew her. i've seen her several times in school but we never talk and i didn't even know her name. so tomorrow's amalina's bday party. idk what to wear and i'll get her a present after her bday because i cant go anywhere and tesco doesnt have anything that suit her taste. -.- well, i'll give her later.

hez post on my wall saying that she's annoyed with my default picture bcause it's a picture of chocolates that syakira and i bought at alamanda like months ago. most of it were mine. :D and hez was annoyed that mine was black forest and hers is hazel nuts. hahahaha. xD i might get her a black forest soon. (:

wow, all this while i was thinking what to post and walla! there u go. i've got tons of short stories to tell. that's cool. might think of something later.