doushite?

i dont know why but i just realize that i'm not me.

i can feel it. it was like someone else, a stranger living inside my body.

i'm not the same person from penang anymore.

i was quiet in class. i like to be alone. i talk less about korea with people.

why is it happened like this?

maybe it's because i miss penang? or i was afraid of what people might think of me?

i know one good reason, I FUCKING MISS MY FRIENDS. ):

i miss my life when i was in form 2 and 3.

not a pleasant memories when i was in form 1.

i think i'm afraid of what people might think of me. but when i was in penang, i dont give a shit about what people think of me.

orang nak fikir ape pun fikir la bcause that's not my problem.

people who doesnt know me mula2 tu boleh la mengutuk mcm2 en tapi lpas dah kenal for a few months, all that shit stop mcm tu je. they'll like me eventually. =3

then, they'll start talking about good qualities in me with their friends. that's how girls' system works.

mcm syaz. mula2 tu tak suka la coz dye ckp i look sombong and whatsoever. but then terpaksa ckp jgk sbb kteorg satu group for pj. then, she ckp it's fun be friends with me. (bangga) X3

it's diff here. people will remember the thing and start talking about it and start spreading and everyone will staring at me and whatshit. it'll be super humiliating. dah la baru lagi.

so, i am not myself. i'm hypocrite. hypocrite to myself. hypocrite to people.

one ques, when can i be myself again? i miss my old self. ):

Pathetic.life.of.Raja.Nurul.Izzati.2010