who is JUJU?!

can somebody tell me who the heck is this 'juju'? =_=

oh, have i ever type in kata2 semangat before? tak pernah tau... XD

takpe la. next time i'll put in kata2 semangat ek juju... >.<

are we?

last night umi mengamok and asked for divorce from my dad.

umi asked abah to sign some papers. i wasn't there to hear the details. i was afraid to go inside the house. i was at the outside and play games to cheer me up, to avoid myself from crying.

abah refuse to sign the paper and my sister was crying hard. i asked her what paper it is and she said it's surat penceraian.

almost cry but try to tahan. went outside and continue play the game.

then, mama called and asked me to tell everything to her. mak lang was here. talking with abah and umi at the kitchen. she's trying to calm things down.

i cried when mama asked me to tell the details. i don't know how things going on in the house. it's a good thing that my dad refuse to sign. she decided to go back to penang last night but terpaksa tangguh bcause of the paper and bcause mak lang came.

mama came not long after that. i was at mak lang's house. talking with kak long. then, mama called me and kakak. umi told them that she doesn't feel our love towards her anymore. she said our love to her is disappearing and we love abah more.

things are ok now and my parents are not divorcing and umi didn't go back to penang.

but the pressure in umi's heart and soul are not fading. it's still there and still pushing her to the limit. she's pretending in front of people. she's pretending that she's ok and everything's back to normal but in reality, it's not. it's not when she's at home. is it true that we don't love her anymore? is it true?

tbh, things won't happened this way if my stupid mouth didn't make that stupid request. if only i ignored the mak cik and didn't asked my sis to do something without umi at home, umi will still be ok as usual. mama and mak lang won't be coming to our house to settle things up. and i won't be scared right now. i regret everything. EVERYTHING.

Pathetic.life.of.Raja.Nurul.Izzati.2010

doushite?

i dont know why but i just realize that i'm not me.

i can feel it. it was like someone else, a stranger living inside my body.

i'm not the same person from penang anymore.

i was quiet in class. i like to be alone. i talk less about korea with people.

why is it happened like this?

maybe it's because i miss penang? or i was afraid of what people might think of me?

i know one good reason, I FUCKING MISS MY FRIENDS. ):

i miss my life when i was in form 2 and 3.

not a pleasant memories when i was in form 1.

i think i'm afraid of what people might think of me. but when i was in penang, i dont give a shit about what people think of me.

orang nak fikir ape pun fikir la bcause that's not my problem.

people who doesnt know me mula2 tu boleh la mengutuk mcm2 en tapi lpas dah kenal for a few months, all that shit stop mcm tu je. they'll like me eventually. =3

then, they'll start talking about good qualities in me with their friends. that's how girls' system works.

mcm syaz. mula2 tu tak suka la coz dye ckp i look sombong and whatsoever. but then terpaksa ckp jgk sbb kteorg satu group for pj. then, she ckp it's fun be friends with me. (bangga) X3

it's diff here. people will remember the thing and start talking about it and start spreading and everyone will staring at me and whatshit. it'll be super humiliating. dah la baru lagi.

so, i am not myself. i'm hypocrite. hypocrite to myself. hypocrite to people.

one ques, when can i be myself again? i miss my old self. ):

Pathetic.life.of.Raja.Nurul.Izzati.2010

sengal punye bdk jalan 3....

i was at Jalan 3's primary school. picking up my brothers. my aunt asked my mum to picked up her children. so, we picked up tini and dayah's school end at 1.10 pm. so, tegur her and walk with her. then, temankan dayah beli air. me and tini tunggu dayah. ade la one group of guys, form 3 kat situ. after that, i heard this one guy talked softly kat dayah. he said, "wei, adik kau ke?" dayah looks at me and she almost laugh. i was like tercengang and my face was like, "wtf?! adik?!" well, this is what i said to them.

guy 1 : wei, adik kau ke?

dayah : ahhhh... a'ah adik. *laugh*

me : adik?!

dayah : a'ah adik... *still laughing*

guy 1 : oooooo...

me : adik?! SE.PU.PU! form 4!

guy 1 : huh?! form 4?

me : *tengah bengang*

dayah : *still laughing*

guy 2 : form 4... eh, kenal sye tak? nak kenal bole?

me : *tak pandang and just ignore them*

those stupid people. i know la i'm small and short and everything yg seangkatan dgnnye. terase dou... then, dayah told me that they asked that bcause of my nametag. it's green and green is for form 1 or 2 in their school. i wonder if they're blink or what for not noticing my school badge. -___- dah la. nak gi mkn... LAPAQQQQQQ! :D chao.

Pathetic.life.of.Raja.Nurul.Izzati.2010

hypocrite...

Listening to: Anzen Chitai - Wine Red no Kokoro

some people just doesnt realize that they're actually hypocrite...

tch... pathetic... they are SO pathetic.

time dulu elok berkawan... puji sampai sanggup nak gado ngan org lain demi mempertahankan their so-called-best-friend...

sudden, now, they mengutuk giler2 power psal their 'best friend'... bagos tak? ^^

that's what we call hypocrite... it's true wasnt it? :D

hmphhhh... they're hopeless... -__-

well, i wont write any further coz takut ade yg terperasan and they'll serang me. :3

chao..

Pathetic.life.of.Raja.Nurul.Izzati.2010