bye-bye mood.

guess what? my mood just flies away leaving me alone with sadness. sadness doesnt help at all. all it did was borrowing me its mask and let me pretend like i'm fine. yeah, thanks sadness. (: so, he found SGGS's last year school magazine at his cousin's. yeah, i just found out recently that his cousins is actually my schoolmates except that we're in a different years. he text me and asked which class am i when i'm in form 3. i was like, why are u asking? he said that he has found our school magazine and he's looking for me. well i did asked him NOT TO search for me but then, walla! he found it. -.- there are lots of reasons why i dont want him to see me in it. the main reason is because, I LOOK HIDEOUS. then, for sure he'll make fun of it and of course i'm not happy with it. i totally hate that fugly picture. totally. but since he found me, there's nothing i can do. it's not like i or he can turn back the time. i feel like burst into tears. that was so embarrassing!oh well, alright darling, i'll prepare myself with your sarcastic words and jokes about it kay. *sigh* well, which gf/bf want their beloved ones to see them in their baddest condition right? so, i told him not to call me tonight because i know he'll talk and make fun of it. and i'm not in the mood to hear everything he wants to say about it. ok then. byeeeee. btw, i'm still wearing the mask and waiting till midnight comes so that i can let my pillow to absorb my tears and let my eyes get sepet next morning.

ok, just kidding about tears and eyes part. xD

what a great time. (:

well, this is us on RIMUP day. (: i'm the only one weird on that day. xD i was wearing kebaya with pants. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this one, right after PMR. can't remember the date. lol

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this fugly picture is from my last day in school (2009). i brought my cute little notebook to school and i think we were watching Liar Game at that moment.

yeah, we still managed to snap a few after that, on the same day. we were on our way to the hall. when we get back to the lab, it was locked and all our stuffs were inside. well yeah, we're kind of panic at that time.

meet my first friend in bangi. ^^ Teera Azhar. this one was taken on our class pasty at Hez's.

YAAAAAAAY!! bye-bye peeps. that's all. malas nak upload banyak2 sebenarnye. xD ok, bye 2010, hello 2011! (:

McD.

semalam aku pegi la jogging dgn umi tersayang and adik aku yg sorg ni. pegi pukul 6 and blk ntah pkul brape. mcm nak dkat pukul 8 pun ada. half way jogging, rasa mcm nak pitam. taktau knape. umi taktau psal tu. i just keep on pacing up with them. then, bile nak bernafas, rasa sakit sgt kat dada and blakang. susah sgt nak breathe. so takpe la. time nak beli breakfast, duduk kjap. bile nak blk, sumpah rasa mcm nak tumbang. mana taknye, jalan pun dah tak betul dgn mata dah berpinar-pinar. mcm nak pitam. duduk jap kat sideway tu. hbs smua org tgk. umi dah mcm, "anis ok tak? nak umi amek kereta ke?". then aku ckp la tak pyh. so, blk tu kteorg tak jogging. we walked. (: smpai rumah mmg dah lembik hbs ahhh. mkn jap pastu terus cari katil. xD ptg tu jogging lagi but this time we went to taman tasik cempaka. yeah, umi ckp ptg kat situ plak. ok fine. dah jog jog jog skali umi ajak pegi mcd. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA penat je jogging. skali telan mcd. pergghhhh terbaik ahhh. xD

aku dah penat ok? dah penat sgt.

ape masalah kau la sial?! aku ade buat pape ke kat kau? ok i admit that it's my fault that my mom cancelled the plan to go back to penang last minute and u deserve to be mad at me. yeah, i know that but have u ever think of my feelings? have you? i cried on that day. i had a fight with my mom. i locked myself in my room. kau ckp kau phm situation aku, feelings aku bile aku ckp aku tak dpt blk. yeah u said that to other people tpi knape nak kne ungkit blk psal bnda tu kat aku? on the same day u told her. ape kau igt penang tu kat seberang jln rumah aku ke? kalau ye, dah lama aku pegi. mmg hari2 aku nanti lepak situ. my mom decides everything. she's the one who's going to drive, duit dia, tenaga dia. aku sape nak suruh dia blk time2 tu jgk. kalau dah dia kata tak jadi, tu tak jadi la. aku dah mntk maaf en? kau nak suruh aku buat ape lagi? melutut dpn kau? sujud dpn kau? cium tapak kaki kau baru kau puas? i've been trying to talk to my mom, asking her every single day about when we're going back to penang. i tried ok and i still am. i even mntk paper spm dari senior kat penang. buat pe susah2 mntk dari org jauh padahal bangi ade je. bkn takde. aku tak knal senior, kwn2 aku smua knal. suruh dorg mntkkan. bukan susah pun en? bile kau buat something kat aku, u said stuff about me, ade aku ungkit? ade aku perli2 smua? takde en? kau nak tacing2, fine tacing la. i always there and play along with u. kau nak perli2 aku, mmg dah slalu pun. u said u dont deserve to be our friend, my friend, then why talked to me in the first place? u said u dont deserve to be in the group, then why joined the group? no one force u to do so. kau ckp kau bdk kmpg la, hina la, buruk la, pathetic la, amende tah lagi. have i ever said that to u? have i? dude, aku pun bdk kmpg kay. i dont buy gucci, prada and all. i dont own one tpi aku takde la smpai menghina diri mcm kau. aku dah penat ahhh pujuk kau. hari2 nak kna pujuk, nak kna perli, nak kna maki dgn kau. aku dah malas. dah penat sgt. sakit kpala aku. sakit sangat. have i ever judge you? i dont give a shit about how u look like, how rich are u, how famous are u or how pathetic u are. i tried my best to be the most reliable person for u. when i told u that i've bought the necklace for u, i told u not to tell the other kan? one of the good reason is because you're my special friend. i give u more attention and priority than the others. and what u do? u told them and now i've to spend 60 bucks to buy for them. mmg aku bnyk duit plak time2 cuti ni nak turun kl semata-mata nak beli bnda tu ja? it's worthless tau tak? worthless. tak guna aku turun kl smata-mata utk bnda tu je. tolong la, you're not the only person who's important to me. i've my love ones too ok? aku tak phm ape yg aku dah buat smpai kau kna layan aku camni. have u ever think about everything i did for u? have u ever consider about my feelings? asyik aku je yg kna jaga perasaan kau. time kau marah, kau lpas geram kat aku. penah aku ckp pape? no. aku pujuk lagi ada. when u have problems, u told me and after that everything that u said will stuck into my head for days and it gives me a major headache. kau ape tau? sbb kau tak penah nak ambik kesah pun. kau cerita masalah kau dgn wani a day before my finals, aku takleh study tau tak lpas tu, takleh focus langsung. asyik fikir psal bnda tu je. yeah u dont ask me to that. mmg kau tak suruh pun aku fikir masalah kau. aku tau tpi sbb kau my top best friend, whatever problems that u told me, i feel what u feel. i think to much and i get myself migraine. kau tau tak psal tu? tak en? aku tak penah bgtau pun en? why? sbb aku tak kesah pun psal tu. i dont mind u fill my head with your stories, your problems, your feelings smua. aku tak kesah dpt migraine bile fikir bnyk2 because i care about u and all i get is this? i guess my boyfriend was right. i dont deserve a friend like u. maybe i'm too good for u. so now u decide what to do. aku dah malas dah. kau nak ckp dgn aku, ok kau ckp. kau nak cerita ape2, cerita la. kau nak bg semak otak aku pun aku tak kesah. kau nak tacing pun tacing la. kau nak maki ke perli ke ape ke, buat la. aku dah tak larat dah. penat sgt. sorry again sbb tak dpt blk penang, bile chatting dgn kau, aku ckp dgn boyfriend aku, bile kau cerita masalah kau kat IM fb, aku tak reply sgt sbb kau asyik on off je, so everything yg aku type mcm karangan tu tak smpai kat kau and all. sorry for everything. aku malas nak gado ngan kau sbnrnye. sbb tu aku telan je smua yg kau ckp. so, kau buat la ape yg kau nak. bye.

we've made up on saturday. (: he apologize and i'm happy to accept it. there's a lot of stuff happened on that day but i wont tell about it. i dont think it's necessary. ok so, we've been together for a month now. wow. how time could pass by so fast. last night he called me before 10.30 pm. he told me not to call him because he's not feeling well. at first, i was like, oh ok. i'm fine with it. but then after a while like half an hour later, i feel the urge to call him but i cant. i miss him so much but i cant call him because he asked me not to. i tried to sleep but i cant close my eyes. idk why. so, i make myself busy but still the urge to call him is still there. at last, he called me at 11.37 pm. :D i was so happy, excited actually. i picked up and i'm glad to hear his voice. he said that he couldnt hold the urge to call me either. he missed me so badly that when he suddenly woke up and he remembered me. he said that he was like hearing my voice inside him. that's what make him call. he's not feeling well and yet he still wants to talk to me. he should have taken a rest. i should have ask him to do so but i cant take myself to tell him that. we talked until i-dont-know-what-time. xD he said that he's exhausted and he needs some sleep. so, after he hung up, i bring myself to bed and have a good night sleep.